Roo's Thoughts

How spooky, I was just thinking about the Blog that never was and its exactly a year since I started (and stopped) writing!

A lot has (or hasn't) happened in the last year. Clomid didnt work and we have a prescription to get the drugs to start IUI but I never took it to the chemist, my consultant is lovely and says just give her a call when I'm ready. We are still trying for a family but not as hard so are leaving the more invasive treatments alone for now.

I am now working part time and flexi so that I can fit my work around life and not the other way. I've joined in a millionaire race with my brother, a small group of us are racing to have a £million in assets - the loser has to buy dinner and wine for the rest! I have a small plan to get me going but more of that later.

Its the dog agility show this weekend and I think I've gone backwards with my dog but I'm not too worried, I'm going to just have fun and hope that we get a rosette or two!

I'm going to go now and not make any rash promises on when I'll next write my blog!

Well today was weigh in day for the office weight loss competition, I'm feeling more motivated than last time round - possibly becuase we are all putting £1 in per week for 12 weeks and whoever has lost the most will take all - I have set myself a goal of 1lb per week.

Hadn't thought much today about not having my own family until I started looking through the books that the book lady brings into the office once a month. There are some great kiddies books - I am going to get my Nieces and Nephews some books so that I have something new to read to them - I'm the Aunty who will sit down and read with them, it does make me quite popular which is really nice. I only wish I had my own child(ren) to read to at night time. I was even considering buying some for our future family - how mad is that, I know its ridiculous especially as the books are aimed at the 5yo bracket! My Husband would be really upset if I did - he's worried that I'm obsessed, he's probably right but I just can't seem to help myself.

Last night was another hectic evening - I think I do really need to think about slowing down. We stacked the hay (good job really becuase the rain came overnight!) which luckily Mr Farmer and my friends Husband had stacked half already so there was only about 150 bales left.

We then went to Flyball training, it was a good training session but it was a bit warm for the dogs. We also had a problem with Jake and Chewy running out - lets hope it was becuase of the heat and isnt a long term problem developing.

I'm starting to get slightly nervous about to 2 day agility show - I know that if I just took my time and thought a bit more during my rounds then I'd do much better. The thoughts for this this weekend must be calm and steady!

I've been thinking for quite some time now about starting a diary, I just didn't know what to say or write and so never got past writing the date. This is it, today is the first day of my diary.

I am undecided as to whether I should fill you in on my history or just let it appear as and when...... so I will start with where I am now:

My Husband and I are planning a family, we have been for 2 years now. I have been pregnant once but sadly miscarried at 14 weeks in March 2005. We have had lots of the usual advice - just relax, go on holiday, stop trying, don't worry it will happen - but it tends to make things worse, it makes me think more of the situation and depresses me about the lack of understanding some people have.

As I'm writing this I am thinking that it should be about the present and any future hopes rather than dwelling on the past so here are my hopes: the are not really different to any other month except that (once again) I have a good feeling that this is the month and I can then turn this blog into a pregnancy blog! As usual I know when the baby would be due if we manage to get pregnant - it would be mid April, a nice time of year - I always like the spring and Hubby loves blossom and his cherry blossom tree is always in bloom in April. I am trying not to get my hopes up as 4 cycles of Clomid have not yet done the trick but at the same time I must remain positive.

The weather here today is gorgeous - not as hot as the UK but close and above average for the island. I hope that the breeze sticks around as I have 300 bales of hay to stack tonight and if its as still as last night I'll be sooooo hot. I have help but its still hard work.

Best Dash got to get back to work.
xxx